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The ABC’s Of Great Sex
Ever wonder what is one of the things that kill sexual tension, attraction and arousal in a woman? This may be shocking to a lot of men because the answer to this question is trying too hard to please her!
Indeed, we often hear the message that women want a lover who can put her needs first. On the surface, this statement seems correct and most women will nod in agreement to it. But if you talk to them more, they will admit that they do not want a guy who is just catering to her needs.
She wants her man to enjoy the experience just as much as the guy wants her too. She does not want a guy who is overly concerned about whether or not she is enjoying it, so much so that he acts nervous to the extent that he gives away all of his masculine power to her.
You may also have heard of that statement about women do not like men who are “selfish in bed”. This statement is not quite right either. Selfish is not correct when a man forces his woman to do the things she does not feel comfortable with and in the process may hurt her.
What I am talking about is a guy knows what he wants and is not afraid to get his woman to do the things that meet his needs. Women are turned on by men who are masculine and confident enough to be not ashamed of what they want and go for it.
So, what can you do to get what you want in bed, without seeming selfish and in the process making her feel attracted and aroused? I shall narrow down the three basic requirements you can do to have what you want to the easy-to-remember term of “ABC”, where A is Anatomy, B is Body Control and C is Communication.
Understanding female anatomy is the first thing you have to figure out so that you can know where to press the sensitive pleasure “buttons” on her body to get her reach orgasm. Let me list down these pleasure centers for you
(a) The Clitoris
It is the biological equivalent of the male sexual organ and actually resembles one. You can find this erotic spot at the top of her opening. When a woman is aroused, it becomes filled with blood and gets erected, just like your member. Being quite delicate, you should not scratch, grind, bite or squeeze it.
The correct ways to stimulate this pleasure button are to use your clean and nail-trimmed finger(s) to softly rub it, to use your tongue to lick on it like you are enjoying ice-cream and to use your “little brother” to tease it by rubbing the tip of your male hood against her clitoris.
(b) The Grafenberg Spot
Commonly known as the G-spot, it is the biological equivalent of the male prostrate gland. The g-spot is located on the top wall of the vagina just above the pubic bone. You can locate this area by sliding one or two of your lubricated fingers with your palm up about 2-3 inches deep. Keep your fingers curled as you stroke the area just above the pubic bone.
Nibbling her little ear lobes, licking her ears or just under the lobe and as you get closer to her ears whisper something dirty can be very stimulating to some women.
The most sensitive part of the neck where you can kiss on to have the maximum stimulation is the area along the jaw line and just above the collar bones.
(e) Lower Back
This part of the back that meets the buttocks is very sensitive because of the abundance of the little nerve endings there. If stimulated correctly when she is in a relaxed state, it can be erotic-ticklish.
(f) The Buttocks
Besides grabbing her buttocks, a more sensual way to stimulate this area is by way of tickling. You can use your fingers, a feather or anything else starting from her back and moving slowly down to the butt.
(g) The Knees
The most sensitive part is the back of the knees which are quite ticklish to most women. But if she is relaxed, it can give exerting sensations similar to when you tickle under her buttocks.
(h) The Feet
Use slow movements to make the foot rub can be a very sensual experience to her. Add some lotions to your palms to help you glide along her foot.
(2) Body Control
The next important thing to do is to have control over your erection. This is because controlling your body is something that she sees as a masculine and powerful characteristic.
Here are some ways to delay your orgasm:
(a) Practice contracting your PC muscles
PC muscles or pubococcygeus are located around your testicles, penis and anus and by contracting and relaxing them; you can better control your erection after some practices.
(b) Press on your perineum
The perineum is located between your anus and scrotum. During orgasm, the prostrate gland expands and then contracts to expel the ejaculation fluid. Pressing on the perineum will block the flow. You can get your woman to press the area or you can do it yourself.
(c) Slow down your breathing
When you are high in bed, either you hold your breathing or you breath becomes rapid. By controlling your breathing by slowly it down, you are more able to delay your orgasm.
(d) Stop and start over again
(i) When you are getting high and going further will cause you to ejaculate, you quickly pull out to let the sensation pass and do other things to stimulate her.
(ii) Another way to do this by means of masturbation. When you masturbate, you are in certain ways practicing for intercourse. It is the best time to learn how to control your orgasm. You can practice your orgasm control by bringing yourself to the edge of orgasm and then stop and calmly bring yourself back to normal. It is very important to keep yourself calm throughout the whole process.
Have you ever noticed that if some guys you know tell you that you are doing something wrong, you will feel it is no big deal and forget about the matter after two minutes? But if the woman you love behave like the guys do, you feel hurt and embarrassed. Men tend to take suggestions and frankness from their loved ones as a blow to their egos.
That is why it can be difficult for you to build this sexual connection with her. She is terrified of being so completely vulnerable with you for fear of rejection or provoking you. It is only when you establish this connection with her that she is able to totally surrendering herself to you sexually. That is when you can make her orgasm, literally at will.
To achieve this, you have to keep an open mind and not to regard her feedback as criticism. You are not a mind reader nor should she expect you to be. Encourage open communication at all times, even when you are in the middle of the act. Her feedback is very useful in helping you to figure out what you can do to turn her on.
As you can see here, pleasing her sexually can be as easy as ABC. Of course, there are always many things or ways you can do to make her orgasm and if you are keen to know more, you can go to 500 Lovemaking Tips and Revolutionary Sex.
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