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Judy Helm Wright, of Missoula, Montana is a wise woman with a global message. As an author of over 20 books on Amazon, she writes about Responsibility, Respect & Resiliency.

Judy is a popular motivational speaker and has worked all over the world with families and groups just like yours.

You will find her warm, witty and wise as she guides and mentors others to be their best self.
Judy Helm Wright | judyhwright

Rules of Respect-Boundaries of Behavior

Dec 2nd 2010 at 9:39 AM

Rules for Respect-Boundaries of Behavior

© Judy H. Wright aka Auntie Artichoke, family and relationship coach

Do your kids think you have too many rules?  Do they push the limits and boundaries of respect? Do they think it is funny to pick on someone who is different than they are? Perhaps you have had similar conversations that started like these in order to teach respect for others.

“What’s the matter with that word, they say it all the time on television?”

“We were only teasing her, we didn’t mean it.”

Though children and young adults will get mixed or conflicting messages from the television, magazine and friends, they need you to set and enforce clear, respectful rules and limits. They need to know that you expect them to do and be their best.

By providing this guidance you will help them learn how to be responsible, contributing members of society.

Consistent boundaries within the family are pretty predictable;

Consistency in discipline is the number one factor in successful families: It is important that love, respect, cooperation and expectations are unconditional and not dependant on circumstances or behavior.

Here are some common boundaries your family may have;

  • The car will not start until the seat belt clicks.
  • Parents must always know the 4 Ws before they are allowed to leave with friends. WHO are the friends, WHERE are they going, WHAT are they doing, and WHEN will they be home.
  • We do not speak in derogatory ways about anyone.
  • A child can count on dinner being at six o’clock or there about.
  • Bedtime is 8:30 on school nights and homework is done before playtime.

Consistent boundaries and standards give a child and the whole family a feeling of security and safety. It is within this safe environment that self-discipline and life skills begin to flourish and develop.

Be Partners with Schools and Community Organizations

As a community, as well as a family, we need to give consistent messages to our children concerning dangerous, unacceptable and unkind behavior. When they understand hateful teasing or name calling is not acceptable it will be easier for them to forgo temptation to participate.

It is our responsibility as adults to help them learn and live by the basic rule that actions have consequences. By teaching and enforcing family, school and community rules, you teach respect and tolerance for all.

Thank you for doing a good job

You are doing the most important job in the world, raising self-disciplined, thoughtful and contributing children.  Thank you for your time and effort.  We will all be blessed by having members of society who work within a framework of acceptable behavior.

This article was written just for you by Judy H. Wright, author and international speaker on parenting and family issues. Feel free to share with friends and associates, but please include this resource and contact box.

Judy Helm Wright, of Missoula, Montana has become “The Bully Advocate.” As an author, keynote speaker and family educator, she has seen the damage done when bullying occurs. Her blog http://www.cyberbullyinghelp.com is filled with information and a free report for parents and teachers. The goal of the blog is to: 1. Empower the bully to gain empathy and gain new ways of communication 2. Empower the victim or target to gain assertiveness skills and how to set boundaries. 3. Empower the bystander or witness to speak up or find help. 4. Empower the group, school, family or community to adopt a no-bully, respect for all policy.

For a full listing of books, articles, tele-classes and workshops go to  http:// www.ArtichokePress.com You may also sign up there for FREE articles and Newsletters having to do with “finding the heart of the story in the journey of life” by clicking on   http://www.AskAuntieArtichoke.com You will be glad you did and so will we.

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7 comments
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Dec 15th 2010 at 4:02 PM by cyberider
Learning with this activities is a great knowledge and wisdom to create good habit.
   
Dec 14th 2010 at 4:19 PM by judyhwright
Thanks to those who took time to comment on articles. It is great to writer when you know that there are readers out there who are eager to learn, not just earn. Sending you best wishes. jhw
   
Dec 7th 2010 at 2:03 PM by nebs
What an insight...
   
Dec 4th 2010 at 11:45 AM by gerardoantonio
good..every day i learn more from you..thanks for the letters to my email.. www.esocialthis.tk
   
Dec 4th 2010 at 4:15 AM by drkelp
A very good article and as the father of a daughter who was severely bullied at school I totally agree with your comment about challenging comments from our children such as, “We were only teasing her, we didn’t mean it.”
   
Dec 2nd 2010 at 11:36 AM by judyhwright
Thanks for the comments and for those of you who "liked" my latest article on Setting Boundaries for Respect. Looking forward to reading your articles and learning from you. JHW
   
Dec 2nd 2010 at 10:39 AM by GTBulmer
Hi, Judy: The info you provide here, your insight and the recommendations are all excellent and professionally presented! Thank you for posting this article.

I agree completely that parents MUST set a positive example and they must have clear boundaries that are monitored and enforced consistently and fairly.

You are clearly the "go-to coach" for families and relationships! :-) GT
   

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