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Judy Helm Wright, of Missoula, Montana is a wise woman with a global message. As an author of over 20 books on Amazon, she writes about Responsibility, Respect & Resiliency.

Judy is a popular motivational speaker and has worked all over the world with families and groups just like yours.

You will find her warm, witty and wise as she guides and mentors others to be their best self.
Judy Helm Wright | judyhwright

Reframing Past Emotional Hurts

Aug 26th 2010 at 9:52 AM

We have all had emotional wounding in our lives.  Usually the negative beliefs about our capabilities, appearance or skills were given to us by someone in our early life experience.  The hurt or criticism was typically handed out by a caregiver, parent or teacher. They may even have had the best of intentions and really loved us, but did not know how to express that love in a positive manner.

Reframe Past Hurts

Reframing is a process of consciously choosing the thoughts you have about your memories and experiences.  You cannot make past events go away.  What happened to you is real and is a part of who you are.

However, you have the power to control your future and the ability to have another look at what happened. In the worst of experiences, there was some good.  You can choose to reflect on the life lesson learned in the experience and focus on that rather than the sad or traumatic emotional wounding that occurred.

It is as if you have been given a family portrait from your grandmother's estate.  You value the picture, but the frame does not go with your style of decorating.  You simply re-frame the photo by putting a new frame around the old picture.  It now fits who and what you are today.

Virginia Dunstone M.S. in her book Why Do I Do What I do? suggests we ask ourselves these questions about past hurts;

  • Can I change what happened?
  • What is right about this picture?
  • What does the situation teach me?
  • Who would I be without this experience?
  • Who are the teachers in this memory?
  • What did they teach me?
  • How can I serve others with what I have experienced?

Past Hurts Can Heal

When we understand that what may have occurred in a vulnerable time in our belief forming years may no longer be relevant, if it ever was, it is easier to let the emotional wounding go. They may shape the adult we became.

Empowerment can come from overcoming emotional wounding and recognizing that we no longer need to carry that burden  of hurt from the past. We can choose to see these wounds through the lens of a victim or change the perception by choosing to look at them through a new and better frame.

Look for Mentor or Teacher To Build Confidence

As you go through this journey of life you will need a mentor, guide or teacher who can assist you in putting new frames around old emotional wounding and past hurts.  Please allow me to be that support system for you.

Claim your free MP3 recording and eBook http://www.EncourageSelfConfidence.com today.
You will be glad you did. It will help you to be:

- More calm and centered in stressful situations
- More courageous to try new things and opportunities

Artichoke Press is the home site of Judy H. Wright, family relationship coach and author of over 20 books and many articles on family relationships. If your organization would like to schedule Auntie Artichoke, the storytelling trainer, for a workshop please call 406.549.9813.

c) Judy H. Wright http://www.ArtichokePress.com You have permission to reprint this article in your blog, ezine or offline magazine as long as you keep the content and contact information intact. Thank You.

Thanks for joining our community of caring parents, family members,coaches, teachers and mentors who want to help raise a generation of responsible adults who respect others.

3 comments
Please to comment
Sep 10th 2010 at 10:24 AM by judyhwright
Thank you both for your comments. It is funny (or not) but both of you had profiles that drew me in and I thought "Wow, I could be their friends." You both look like good, kind thoughtful people.
   
Sep 10th 2010 at 10:05 AM by sandyc30
I still work on that from day to day. Being a survivor of Domestic Violence, I had to learn to be a strong cause i wasnt, After all that past is when my son was given a DX of Autism. I turned intro a fighter for him and his rights.
   
Aug 26th 2010 at 11:43 AM by yhbecpublisher
Thank you for this article Judy. I am finding that many of the articles here at IMFP are helping me reframe my past.
   

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