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|Fishing, camping, boating, kayaking, internet, traveling, and my beautiful spouse Karen! Trained in the art of natural healing techniques such as Acupressure and Shiatsu. Also first level trained in the art of Reiki healing. Author and publisher of "Your Press-Away pain guide to Headache Relief".|
How to LOVE the one you’re with!
Are you in a SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP and want to continue that love connection? Well, I’m sure you’ve heard all the little things you can do to keep your love alive, but just as a reminder and maybe even some new information, I’m going to give you the keys to what’s making our relationship the very best it can be.
Be advised that I’m no doctor, psychologist, or even an expert on LOVE or what makes it sustain itself, so I can only speak from a personal experience.
Also, I’m not listing any of these ideas in any particular order since they all have importance on any relationship. But if I were going to list by importance, the very first one would be TRUST!
NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER EVER cheat on your partner. NO MATTER WHAT! Did I mention that you should NEVER cheat? Once you go down that road, you can NEVER reconcile that act. Even if your partner forgives you, it will always be in their mind if you’re faithful after that so don’t ever do it!
Since we’re on the subject of RESPECT, let’s discuss that idea for a while. Respect is probably one of the greatest emotions a person can have for another. There are certainly other important emotions, but if you don’t respect the person you’re with, then you will NEVER get to love them for a lifetime.
You really MUST LIKE the person you’re with before you can LOVE that person. If you just think you like someone, but keep finding any faults they may have, then it probably won’t work into a LOVE relationship. Loving someone isn’t just like loving a family member; it’s much deeper than that. Although loving a family member can surely get very deep if you’re connection with them is one of great affection and respect.
Make your loved one your BEST FRIEND. This doesn’t mean you can’t have any friends; it means that you can have a best friend with the person you want to spend your life with without ignoring your friends who you might have considered to be best friends before you met your SOUL MATE!
ALLOW partners to think for themselves and give important input to any ideas the both of you may have. If you take away the decision making process from your partner, they will most likely start disliking this action, especially if your partner has something important to say where there decision may even change the outcome of any decision.
Have you ever heard of the old saying “two heads are better than one”? Well, that saying also works in a relationship, rather you’re on a sports team or interacting with your partner.
Here’s one some of you may consider impossible and that’s the idea of spending your entire life with that person you’ve chosen to have as your soul mate. That’s right, you will need to adjust your overall thinking to that of a LIFETIME COMMITMENT! That’s right, I said COMMITMENT! If you don’t have it, you two won’t last! Too many divorces happen today because one or the other person hasn’t thought about being with the same person for the rest of their life. Or, one of the two committed members changes and starts thinking they just can’t spend the rest of their life with the same person.
Learn to LISTEN to your partner! If you’re not listening well enough, your life with them is on a track of disaster because sooner or later one will say “haven’t you heard a word I’ve said”? Don’t be so anxious to give your views unless you’re willing to listen to the views of your mate.
Give your partner all the SPACE they need. Chances are you both have likes and dislikes for all things and if you loose those likes when you finally connect with someone you may want to spend your life with, then sooner or later this will catch up with you. And when it does, it will sting once you realize you can’t do what you like any more because your partner doesn’t like it. But then if you have a nasty habit you’ll want to be thankful if your partner won’t allow you to continue, especially if it strengthens your relationship.
You should WANT to spend time with your partner. Don’t just spend time with someone because they want you to. Do it because you really want to.
Personally, I’m a fishing fanatic, and when Karen and I started dating, I would take her out on my boat only to see her get a little sea sick. Although I knew I wanted her along, I was torn between asking her to stay at home while I go out fishing or ask her to join me. She was an absolute trooper and didn’t complain one bit. She would join me fishing and even caught a few fish of her own.
ABSOLUTELY NO DEGRADATION! How would you feel if someone told you how stupid you are, or how you can’t do anything? Well, that’s what your partner feels if you ever tell them how dumb they are because you don’t think their idea is worth anything, or you may not understand what it is they are thinking and you’re convinced it won’t work no matter what it is.
It won’t be long before your partner starts feeling worthless because of your negative input. So keep it to yourself and try using PRAISE instead of constantly pounding them down every time they speak or act out.
Be ROMANTIC! This may be a difficult one for some of you but if you just TRY it you might like it. Give flowers, say romantic things, hold hands, and look at them with a smile and a good thought in your heart. One little romantic thing Karen does EVERY night is massaging my feet. Sometimes she wants me to massage certain parts of her body so I gladly help her out. You don’t have to be an expert, just try it, you might like it.
I believe Karen and I have one of the best LOVE relationships because we both would rather spend all of our time together than being with anyone else.
We go camping every few weeks without having any friends except us two. We love kayaking and fishing so Karen also goes with me every time we want to take our kayak or boat out, which is often. Most of the time she will bring reading material while I’m fishing, but every now and then she picks up her pole and catches fish, usually more than I do. I don’t mind because just the fact that she’s willing to join me is what I value the most. And she does it because she wants to and not because she has to.
We both love movies so we usually go to the movies at a theater or rent the Netflix movies all the time. Now that we have a ROKU movie streamer box, we can turn on a movie anytime we’re ready, which is usually at dinnertime.
Exploring the area’s we’re in is also an important thing we do together, especially since we camp in many different parts of our state and have a desire to see what’s around those areas.
Every year we take at least 7-9 days and go on a cruise. We prefer the Caribbean and so far have been to some super romantic and interesting places. We realize this may or may not be something you like or can do, but if you get the chance, then we highly recommend it because you won’t believe how romantic it can be.
Don't forget to say “I LOVE YOU” and mean it. Look at your partner and think about all the things you like best. Get that smile on your face and tell them how you’re feeling. Every day I tell Karen I Love her, not because I have to, but because it’s what I feel in my heart. Even if I forget to tell her, I ALWAYS show her with lot’s of hugs, kisses and continual roaming hands.
And last but not least, try CUDDLING! We cuddle EVERY morning from 15 minutes to two hours depending on our plans for the day. There are three positions we like the most. If you’re real lucky, this will also lead to something more intimate!!
I’m sure I’ve left something out here, but I’ve covered a lot of the important things it takes to Love the one your with. However, I’d like to recap and add some more things you may want to try to strengthen your current relationship. And they are TRUST, RESPECT, HUMOR, FINANCIAL COMPATIBILITY, KINDNESS, THOUGHTFULNESS, DESIRE, PLAYMATES, ROMANCE, FRIENDSHIP, COMMITMENT, SOUL MATES, INTIMACY, COMPROMISE, FLEXIBLITY, FORGIVENESS, INTIMACY, COMMUNICATION and you can add Showering and Playing together, as these are bonuses! These are some words can get you started.
Yes, there’s a lot here to digest. If it’s a bit overwhelming for you then just take ONE thing at a time and work on that. You’d be surprised how much your relationship will change.
Just remember, LOVE MAKES THE WORLD GO AROUND! You probably thought it was the Moon or something celestial!
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