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Soroya Ravencrest | yhbecpublisher
Snow Shoe Traffic now has Team Surfing, http://www.snowshoetraffic.com/signup.php?2012
unknown

Brand03 - How I Cope With Frustration

Aug 3rd 2010 at 1:13 AM

Prior to 2001, like most people (we are all human after all) I would have to deal with the normal frustrations we face in our daily living.

Since then, my life has become a little more complicated. Smaller things frustrate me easily like having to ask someone to open a bottle so I can get a drink or a jar of peanut butter open.

The loss of an ability we have taken for granted all our life can have an enormous impact on us without fully understanding it all at the beginning.

At first coping wasn't easy, when I first had to use a walking stick I often forgot it when I woke up. I had to train my brain to 'remember' to collect it!

Other frustrations have crept in over the years, like needing help to go shopping, clean my house, cook for me and wash my dishes and clothes.

First because as a woman I had been trained to do these things for others and second just from being unable to do them for myself.

We have an understanding that when we are 'old' that these things will eventually be done by others for us, but I was only 42 when it started happening to me.

I had never understood the frustration I saw in a movie when someone lost a leg or needed to use a wheelchair for long periods. Now I do!

Just the same as losing a job or house takes time to recover from emotionally, so too does the loss of your mobility or any other abilities for that matter.

One of the best examples that comes to my mind when I think of frustration is a day I found myself trying to discuss an item over the telephone.

I had an image in my mind of the 'thing' I wanted to say but could not remember it's name or label. This was in my early recovery after the mini-stroke.

I ended up saying 'you know, that thingy that you put things in and wheel around the garden, it has one wheel and handles to push it'

Now I bet you are guessing 'it is a wheelbarrow', yes that is what it was. But at that point in time we have since learned, that is how my brain retained a pathway to my memories.

I spoke briefly about when the mini-stroke happened in 'Who Is Soroya Ravencrest?' and one of its side effects on my life. Here is one way my family helped me cope with the frustration of not being able to communicate properly.

Dave and my two youngest children used to play a game with me, congratulating me when I got the first letter of a person's name right, progressing on to the first three letters, etc.

My life now often revolves around a set of 'to-do' lists that help me keep track of where I have put details I want to remember, what I want to do on a particular day, etc.

The mobile phone (american's call it a cell, I think) has become my constant companion - to get help if I need it after a fall; to remind me I have a meeting or something else I need to do; and even entertainment with my favorite games, music, videos and books on it for when I'm out and about.

Thanks for reading.

5 comments
Please to comment
Aug 12th 2010 at 6:06 AM by fredds
Hi Soraya, Just passing by with a recommendation for a site that you and your visitors may find helpful. Its full of so many helpful and positive articles that have helped me deal with the challenges that have cropped up in my life and I hope they will be of help others. The site is: http://www.mindpowernews.com
   
Aug 10th 2010 at 5:29 PM by philjansen
Thank you for a well informed article. I will check it out. God Bless - Phil Jansen - Who I am makes a difference - philjansen.com
   
Aug 10th 2010 at 10:22 AM by drknlvly6781
Hello Soroya! Congratulations on pushing forward after your stroke, and not letting it hold you down. It would help us all to become more positive to remember all the things that we can do, instead of focusing on the few we can't. Keep pushing Soroya!
   
Aug 7th 2010 at 8:06 PM by yhbecpublisher
Hi Carol, thanks for the question.

I had a mini-stroke in 2001 which changed who I was to some degree. My verbal skills and how to access my memories have taken much work to get back to the writer I was prior to then. I am still getting used to talking about it.

This article was a way of letting all my friends who have followed my internet journey over the past 7 years know that life isn't as easy as I make it seem sometimes.

I have 'hidden' my disabilities as I wanted people to like what I did not who I felt I was.

   
Aug 7th 2010 at 5:06 PM by caroljbs
Soroya, I am new here and may have missed something about your article. Could you fill me in a little because I am getting the feeling that something changed in your life.
   

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