Paul Hines | paulhines

Why People Don't Show Up

Jun 23rd 2011 at 4:19 AM

By Michael Oliver .A common occurrence in Network Marketing and Direct Sales is the “No Show” factor… Your potential partners not showing up for meetings; not showing up at your website or not showing up for a business call.

Does this happen to you? Do you feel down and a little dejected when it does?

If so, take heart! It’s a problem that’s easily rectified.

The first step is to recognize that the problem is not them! The problem is probably you! If people don’t show up for you, it’s most likely you didn’t show up – for them!

What do I mean by this?
Let’s think about it by using the example of replying to a lead.

First, recognize that they showed up first and bared themselves asking you for help.

Now, are YOU showing up for them by being authentically sensitive to where they are at the present moment and finding out, without judgment what asking for “help” means to them?

Are you willing to take the time to ask relevant questions to learn, and actually listen to and respond appropriately to their answers? Are you meeting them and understanding where they are, before inviting them to look at where you are and where they could be? Are you allowing them to feel consciously and sub-consciously that they are being heard, appreciated and understood?

If you are, they’ll show up for the next part of the journey.

Or, are you not showing up for them, (because all you’re interested in doing is listening for the minimal amount of qualifying information before shovelling them off to into your system… or treating them as another cog in your wheel of chance called “The Numbers Game”, hoping that like spaghetti, some of them will stick)?

If so, they won’t show up for the next part of the journey!

And it’s not always because they’re not motivated to make a change. It’s because they won’t TRUST and respect you enough to help lead them there.

They won’t trust you because their frame of reference (thinking) when you call, is hardly likely to be the same as yours. Yes, they might express a desire to make more money, have more time and be free (just like you would)… and that would be a parallel frame of reference. But there it ends.

It ends because the real REASONS they want to make more money (especially the deeper ones) will be totally different than yours. THAT’S their real frame of reference.

And included in that frame of reference is the possible baggage of their fears; fear of never being in business before, fear of failure, fear of success, fear of selling, fear of you even! Baggage they’ve accumulated over the years that have prevented them from getting what they deeply want.

If you don’t acknowledge and address it, it won’t go away.

Also, who YOU are is not who THEY are. If you insist otherwise and look at them through the filters of your mind without meeting them where they are first, they won’t follow you.

Qualifying is not just about making sure they are ready to change right now. Qualifying is about finding out and meeting them where they are and knowing what questions to ask that will help them raise their level of expectation.

To help you accelerate your learning check out “How To Have Fearless Conversations…”

You’ll hear and learn that when your leads or potential customers feel you’re there for them, they’ll follow you to your side of the table. They’ll trust and respect you enough to have a look at how your solution will help them move away from where they are and who they are, to where they want to go and who they really want to be.

Woody Allen once said “80% of life is showing up”. I bet he wasn’t just talking about the other person!



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