Johnny Jones | mule

The 8 habits of highly UNsuccessful people.

Oct 5th 2010 at 10:05 PM
  1. Follow your impulses and emotions. Blame everyone but yourself for everything that goes wrong. You’re the victim here, right? If someone criticizes you, bad-mouth them. Accuse them of whatever you can think of. That’ll teach them!
  2. Carpe Diem. It’s no use planning ahead or worrying about the consequences of your actions. We’ll all be dead tomorrow anyway.
  3. Go with the flow. After you’ve surfed the net, rescued a kitten, sms’d all your friends,  watched re-runs on TV, cleaned that hard-to-reach spot behind the stove, gone clubbing, you’re too exhausted to do the stuff on your to-do list. But hey, some of that stuff was really important, so you feel pretty good about yourself nonetheless.
  4. Think win/lose. Life is a battle. They’re all out to get you, so get them first. Make sure no-one else has success, because remember: if they win, you lose. If it looks like you’re going to lose, make sure you take the other loser down with you.
  5. Tell your side of the story first, then pretend to listen.  Make sure that everyone understands your point of view, because it’s right. Don’t listen to them, they’re wrong. If you want to hear their opinion, tell them what their opinion is.
  6. Look out for Number 1. Everyone else is obviously nuts, because they’re not like you. Why should you cooperate with them? Your ideas are always the best, so it’s better to implement them yourself. Cooperation is for wusses.
  7. Keep on keeping on. Nothing is as important as finishing your project. Work, work, work. Rest, relaxation, relationships, your health, none of it is as important as finishing on time.
  8. Hang out with people who have the 7 habits listed above.

This is loosely based on Stephen Covey’s “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People”.
(Yes, I know Stephen Covey’s 8th habit is different from the one I listed)
If you want to succeed in life, relationships, business, marketing, whatever, just do the exact opposite of what I wrote above.

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