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Advice for single women at weddings
When the wedding invitation arrives in the mail addressed to you and "guest," you don't have to go date shopping to go along with the new dress and shoes.
Indeed, you don't need a date at all.
That's the advice of dating guru Marni Battista, who is a coach, author and host of a YouTube channel with more than 1 million views. Lake Erie LifeStyle checked in with Battista during a telephone interview about the challenge of being single at a wedding.
"The No. 1 thing is to realize that plus-one is not an obligation. It's an option. If there isn't someone you want to spend that much time with, you don't need to feel pressured," she says.
When women receive an invitation that reads, "plus-one" or "and guest," they need to realize this isn't a commentary about their marital status. Instead of reading into it that "What is wrong with me? Why don't I have a plus-one," Battista reminds her clients what the day is really about.
"I have them focus on what they have been invited to -- someone who is close enough to them has invited them to a very special event. It's not about her -- it's about being included in a special event."
Think about what you can bring to the party -- other than a date. "Put yourself in the shoes of the hostess -- the bride, the family who have put so much work into planning this event. Put your focus on 'How can I be the best guest?' 'How can I make this the best party?'"
In fact, if you aren't dating someone, a wedding can be the perfect place to practice being the best guest ever or following Battista's 21-day interaction challenge. Her challenge is all about focusing on others, such as striking up conversations with a stranger and learning five new things about him or her. "Focus on spending time interacting and beefing up your positivity, warmth and being open," she says.
A wedding fits this perfectly, she adds during the interview.
"It's a great opportunity to meet other people. People are in the mood to have fun," she says.
You can dance with "that cute 8-year-old. Or talk to someone's grandma who is sitting there quietly. You can really have fun. ... What a great place to practice having fun. Or practice being a good listener."
How do you deal with the well-meaning friends who want to fix you up with a date for the wedding or at the wedding?
"My friend (used to) think anyone who is breathing would be a good match for me," says Battista, who remarried in the past year. "You really have to go into this with 'this person is clueless.' They really have the best intentions. How you think and how you respond is 100 percent your choice."
So get over the fact that you might be sitting next to Mr. Not Right and make the best of it. This day isn't about you.
"Just be the most fun person at the table," she advises.
If you don't want to go alone, bring a guy friend who can make the day more festive for you, whether it's because he's a good dancer or can act as your wingman. Read more at:blue prom dresses uk | mermaid prom dresses uk