Why do we try to control the other Michael Fiore Secret Survey ?
When I require my husband to adopt the tone that suits me and expresses the way I prefer, I try to take control of the interaction. This helps me to avoid experiencing feelings that I dislike, make realizations that bother me and live unknown situations. If the other behaves according to my words, in a way that is familiar to me, I is unlikely to be disturbed. This is the main purpose of this attempt to control.
Control the other is actually a way to manipulate. I say I do not like what he does and I will punish him if he continues. Leave, no longer listen or attack equivalent to a punishment. I demand that bends to my will, on behalf of the fact that I do not like aggression or because I hate to be the subject of intense anger. For some, it is necessary to add other reasons: anger scares them, it reminds them of their childhood environment or it is ineligible between people who love each other. With these arguments, they try to convince their partner to address them in a different way.
Why did my husband or any other party should abide by it? Why should he change what he saw or expression for me avoid this. Because that is what I demand of him that he renounces his loyalty lived. (See "True to myself" in Emotions source of life).
There is no valid reason to deny that my husband is respected. Accept silent experience or change the expression to me "household" is always a bad solution. Why?
First because of the adverse effect of such a choice on self and relationship, as we shall see in the next section. Because then obey this requirement is to become complicit in the avoidance of his partner.