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Top Reasons People Get Divorced
Open just about any magazine or website dedicated to celebrity news, and you’ll find at least one report that a couple is separating or in the middle of a divorce. Quite often, they cite “irreconcilable differences” as the reason behind the split, but this is a catch-all phrase that really doesn’t explain why they are breaking up. Most couples face stress in their marriage as life changes their circumstances. How you deal with this stress together is what either cements the relationship or leads to irreconcilable differences in your own marriage. Elizabeth Ochoa, PhD, a marriage counselor and chief psychologist at the Beth Israel Medical Center in New York City listed these major stressors as the main reasons behind divorce in today’s culture.
Remember the line “in sickness and in health” from your marriage vows? When a spouse gets sick, it affects the future of the relationship. Iowa State University found divorce rates 6 percent higher when the wife had a serious illness such as cancer or heart disease. Interestingly, divorce rates did not go up when men were sick. A serious illness in itself adds stress to a marriage, but when you include the problems of debt and pain that come with such a problem, it can be difficult to maintain a relationship.
Job changes are another stressor that causes couples to divorce. It’s not just a job loss, but a promotion as well. Shifts in a couple’s financial situation can lead to unhappiness and dissatisfaction. When you have new responsibilities that take time away from your marriage, you forget to focus on your relationship. Related to job changes, living apart is another stressor. In 2013, RAND Corporation found that the risk of divorce among military personnel was related to the length of time spent in a deployment. It’s not just military personnel who live apart, but they do have a harder time adjusting to life after returning to the United States.
Children are another stressor in a marriage. Even though couples dream of having a family, some people aren’t prepared for new responsibilities. Good stress is still stress, and the transition between having complete freedom without children to taking care of a newborn can lead to a lack of communication. On the other end of the spectrum, when couples do make it through to see their children graduate and leave the nest, that too can lead to divorce. Empty nesters lose their connection and grow apart once the children have moved out.
Work out your issues before they lead to a divorce. However, if it has reached a point that you no longer can, find a lawyer to assist you through the process. To learn more about a divorce attorney in La Quinta visit this website.
Paul advises people on divorce and family law matters. You can find his thoughts at family law guide blog.