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I am Charmed, and You?
Possessing a charming way will open many doors. The latent charm
lurking within you is your secret and hidden away gold mine. Your
charm is like a pearl inside the oyster, and once it is discovered
and polished can highlight and greatly enrich your personality and
Charm is that intangible quality within you, that when uncovered
and freed from suffocating baggage, can add a subtle power to your
presence that is irresistibly pleasing. The influence of this charm
will attract, calm, assuage, placate and delight anyone with whom
you come into contact. The ability to win over and influence people
is in direct proportion to the charm you are able to summon up and
Charm can be developed like every other quality or attribute of the
mind by adopting and practicing some basic rules. Adaptation, the
art of agreeing with another person for the sake of amicability is
lesson one. Finding common ground through genuine curiosity lowers
defenses and paves the way for further exploration. Adaptation is an
acknowledgment of another’s ‘right to be’ right or wrong. As Voltaire
said, "I do not agree with a word you say but I shall defend to the
death your right to say it." The goal is to charm not to reform.
The primary rule is for you to be yourself. Any kind of physical makeover,
including that phoney smile, won’t do the trick. Affectations and pretense,
even a well rehearsed choreography, is swift and certain death to charm.
It is easy enough to attract and get attention by artifice, but to influence
anyone beyond surface pleasantries, you must possess the power of charm within.
A smile may win a first look, but it takes the conscious power of charm to
obtain results. Authenticity is genuine and indisputable, easily picked up by
others as the real thing, where pretense is usually unmasked.
By practicing the techniques of charm from within, you can put your prospect
or antagonist at ease and even inspire them to do your bidding. Projecting
charm requires give and take. The first technique is to listen. You must be
an attentive listener interested in hearing what the other person has to say,
which also means paying close attention and really comprehending what they
have to say and where they are coming from in saying it.
The second fundamental is to always be humble, gentle and polite. By adopting
these traits you will project a gracious and friendly manner which communicates
the attitude that you are both likeable and approachable. Treat all people that
you meet as potential friends. By displaying an open and positive attitude,
and making others feel that your own life was incomplete before having met them,
empowers them, and in turn they will become endeared to you. Interest, kindness,
and humbleness are a major part of being charming. Giving praise is another.
Praise is like a rare gemstone which derives its worth from its scarcity. Praise
is one of the greatest motivating forces there is, and when sincerely applied
can work wonders. Praise a dog and he is your friend. Praise children and they
will glow with joy. Praise your ability with gratitude and you increase the flow
of intelligence into your endeavors. Positive praise feelingly applied is an
active multiplier. Praise what you have and more will be available to you. Praise
is a positive expression of appreciation. In the case of others, it gives hearty
and warm approval and breaks down barriers. If anyone you meet deserves your
approbation, by all means give it, and in so doing you enhance their appreciation
of your own qualities, a win win situation powered by charm.
The third element of charm is tolerance. Life is a compromise, and to realize
and accept this adds to ones peace of mind and enjoyment. People are entitled
to their own opinion, and possessing tolerance allows respect for diverse opinions,
without necessarily believing or sharing them. Respect for another’s point of
view will always enlarge your own world view. By exercising tolerance you dispel
prejudice and vanity. It is the essential quality necessary to establish the
true relationship between divergent situations on an impersonal basis. By
becoming tolerant you learn not to take the world and the events and people in it
too seriously, yourself included, thus enabling your sense of humor to expand.
A true and easy smile and the ability to have a good laugh will relax you, and
in so doing, aid you in peace of mind and efficiency. Tolerance and a good sense
of humor are indeed additional gems to have in your crown of charm.
Charm is the art of pleasing. You need to be poised along with possessing the
ability to act natural. Your ability to be pleasingly spontaneous and to act
natural is a reflection of your habits. If these habits have been formed through
the proper training of grace, poise and cleanliness, then they add to your charm.
Negative habits of sloth, crudeness and loutishness diminishes. Charm refines
the essence of your personality and permits the radiant beauty of your real being
to shine through. Possessing charm will greatly augment your effectiveness. It
makes it possible for you to always present yourself in the most favorable light.
Through the glow of charm you will feel healthier and those worry lines will soon
be replaced by your infectious smile. So train and equip yourself in the art and
power of charm. It will enrich your presence and add immeasurably to your personal
satisfaction and happiness.
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