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kelvin Godson | verokel


Aug 10th 2010 at 4:59 AM

Being in control of your relationship does not mean only you are controlling your relationship.

Every relationship needs a certain amount of control, but it has to be a two way street. The need to please others leads to doing many things different. It is human nature to want things done a certain way.

The willingness to compromise plays a major role in keeping a relationship under control.

This can be a good thing as long as it does not go too far. Letting someone know early into the relationship what is and is not in the realm of things can save a lot of trouble down the road. Doing things that others want may lead to some pleasant surprises.

This does not mean relationships should be entered by sitting down with a do and don't do list. Most people know right up front if they are going to have at least a few things in common.

Once in a relationship there is the tendency to just go with the flow. The Saturday night date becomes something taken for granted by both parties, and if one makes other plans an argument can ensue.

Always letting one party do all the choosing can lead to misunderstandings and feelings of being controlled. A mutual decision can be made without realising it once a relationship is under control.

Communication is extremely important. Things do come up, but changes in the routine should be discussed as early as possible. This is not asking permission, it is just practicing common courtesy.

By controlling yourself you can control your relationship. Knowing what the other person wants and enjoying doing those things, make for a good relationship.

If eating in a certain restaurant has become an unpleasant habit don't mention it while eating there or right after leaving. Wait until a time when the conversation won't interrupt the flow of things. Many times both sides of a relationship feel the same way.

It is a lot easier to control yourself than to try to control others. When this becomes second nature other people will become easier to get along with. The results may lead to doing things that make both parties in the relationship more comfortable.

Expressing opinions may be fine in some circumstances, but in a relationship less can be better. Political views can be accepted, but criticism of someone's close friend is seldom met with enthusiasm.

When it comes to clothing, unless an outfit is totally inappropriate, it is best to refrain from negative opinions. If asked about the outfit tact is always the best route to follow.

Being in control of a relationship should become second nature. If feeling uncomfortable and having to constantly compromise a long talk at the right time can solve a lot of problems and put things back on track. This kind of discussion should not cause uneasiness and is usually a welcome chance to discuss differences. In a good relationship both persons are in control. In a great relationship neither one will notice.

Please to comment
Sep 8th 2010 at 8:42 AM by verokel
Thank Monica. I will do my best to satisfy my readers
Sep 8th 2010 at 7:26 AM by m8t43
Enjoyed reading this, Kelvin. You covered all the important points in building a strong and lasting relationship. I am fortunate in having a great relationship with my wonderful Husband who is also my best friend, first and foremost. Thanks Monika

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