Marriage is an exciting transition for any couple, but over the course of a few years, many married couples find that the romance and feelings of love and unity have all but fizzled out. Statistically, 50 percent of marriages end in divorce. This isn’t a pleasant reminder when you feel your marriage in on the rocks. Luckily there are some key warning signs that your marriage is going downhill, and recognizing these indicators can potentially save you from a divorce.
One of the first signs that your marriage needs some patching up is when you seem to be on autopilot. You and your partner may be talking but you’re not really listening. Almost everyone autopilots from time to time, but it becomes a serious problem if it’s happening most or all of the time. If your partner constantly has to remind you about important events or even simple things like picking up milk from the store, then you’re likely not listening in the first place.
After you’ve spent years around the same person, you know how to push their buttons. In the beginning of a relationship, you’re bound to do this since you’re still learning each other’s boundaries. However, after years of marriage, intentionally saying or doing something just to make your partner angry is putting your marriage on the fast track.
Whether you’re no longer feeling a deep personal and emotional connection to your partner or things in the bedroom have died out, the loss of intimacy is most commonly caused by a lack of positive feelings for your partner. You are no longer staying up late, talking. In fact, conversations with your partner are no longer interesting or desired.
You Seek Others for Support
When your partner isn’t offering much support, it’s common for the other to start seeking out someone- anyone- to help them. Reaching out to others for support is one thing, but if your sole purpose is to find support where your spouse doesn’t provide it then the issue needs to be addressed pronto.
Me, Me, Me
It’s important to realize that while you’re in a relationship it’s not always about what you need- it’s about what will benefit both parties. Your partner has needs too and a successful relationship is about compromise.
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Paul advises people on divorce and family law matters. You can find his thoughts at Livejournal blog.