affiliatenow
The Team Building Project was conceived and developed by Stephen Scott, a proven Digital Marketing Expert with over 20 years of business development, web site design & architecture, database design, viral marketing, social networking and computer pro
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  • My Last Post For A While 2011-02-12T12:59:00.001-08:00
    Im done, Im done with life, Im done believing, Im done forgetting, Im done forgiving, Im done loving, Im done being nice, Im done living, Im done hoping, Im done with faith, Im done with god, Im done with family, Im done with friends, IM DONE WITH THIS!
  • I'm losing it, I'm lost, I lost it.... 2011-02-04T17:04:00.000-08:00
    Well, there it went right outta my mind. If I could I would put us all out of our misery...how are we hanging on? Love. That's it, that is all we have left, love for each other. But is that enough? Is it enough to survive? I don't know sometimes. Maybe. Maybe not.

    Losing everything sucks, I have lost so much over my lifetime, which I say is only half way through, but it has been a lot. Not knowing what is going to happen and not feeling very hopeful sucks. I know, I should be hopeful but I just can't be anymore. For far too long I have been hopeful only to meet disappointment around every corner I turn in life, except love that is. But love isn't enough to sustain someone, is it?

    I'm tired, very, very tired and sick of being sick and of having brain fog and of being tired and of not being able to be the person I use to be or to write the book I so much wanted to. My fingers and hands just do not work like they use to and my mind is almost toast it seems, I can hardly function past a child at times yet I can not seem to let the tears flow like that of a child. It's very hard being in this place at times and am thankful for such a loving husband.

    Feelings of being lost and not there for my kids as they may want me there but I don't want them to be burdened by me and don't feel it is fair to make them feel bad, they have gone through way enough in our lives to burden them with this too.

    Though there has been healing from the past I just can't bare to keep going on like this. It is a very hard time right now trying to deal with illness, living situation which is homeless basically, wanting to be closer to my kids though I can't because they will see right through me...I keep to myself so to not upset others. If I could die I would this very instant as death is bliss and I so very much so welcome it anytime it is ready for me...as I am ready for it.
  • I Just Don't Know Anymore....Hopeless, Sick & Tired....Ranting.... 2011-02-04T15:16:00.000-08:00

    What you are seeing in the picture is what we found growing in our 5th wheel the other day while moving some stuff around...wow, I didn't expect that. This is just a rant on how I am feeling right now so please bear with me, if anyone even ever reads this...

    We have been living in this 5th wheel that we bought to live in since Feb 14, 2009. My husband and I, being newbies to the RV world, had no idea what was in store for us. Now I know more about RVs and wish we had been educated more from the company we bought it from. We bought it so that we could live in it long-term, not knowing that that is impossible unless 1) it is a 4 season package or 2) if you can convert it into a 4 season package. Neither happened though we have made it through freezing weather with no water, no toilet, etc.

    Now we have another couple living with us because they too became homeless...it has been great! Until the other day when we found the mold growing then yesterday I found that the inside wall of the 5th wheel in different areas are wet and freezing which will eventually lead to more mold.

    My son and I are both allergic to mold and so therefore we get sick more often due to the 5th wheel. I am grateful we have something to be inside of, do not get me wrong, but it makes me sad that we can not provide the way we would like to. We were doing pretty good and planned on getting into a place until Oct 5, 2010 when my son was hit by a truck on his bicycle and then my husband and I were hit on the way to see him in the hospital. It has ALL been downhill from there.

    I was already on disability for fibromyalgia, now neither my son nor husband are able to find "gainful" (much less any) employment. My son did try to go to work but that ended. No more medical for their needs so we wait for the attorney and insurance companies (which takes a long time) to settle our cases and get on with our lives. I'm not at liberty to further discuss the accidents so have left much out...lives wrecked though we hang in together.

    My fibromyalgia was under control and I was even able to go back to work, I loved it! My plan was to continue working, until the Fog set in unannounced and unwanted but it is there and that is something I just have to deal with. A friend of mine has offered me a job starting in March, if I can do it. My old boss wants me to work for him, if my fog goes away as that is a phone job and I can hardly even talk in person much less on the phone. My mind is not my own anymore.

    SO, what does a person do that can not get help from the standard resources? How do we find someone willing to sell us their home and wait on our settlements so that we can pay for utilities (that is all we can afford)? Is there anyone with a big enough heart and pocket book to lend a helping hand, offer a hand up, not a hand out, just until we can get on our feet and settlements settled? Why do I feel like I have had to go through one heartache after another, year after year, decade after decade? Will it ever end? Have I not endured enough pain in life? Have I not learned enough lessons in life? Have I not helped enough people in life? What have I done so wrong to deserve this? I have walked through hell and back so many times now I can no longer count them on my fingers.

    If you knew everything you would wonder how I could still be alive, I should be dead by now! Ok, I am done for now...I have nothing left to offer here. Hope your day/week/month/year is going WAY better than ours!
  • Legalize Trasporting Medical Marijuana - Scott Shupe - WA, OR & CA 2011-01-13T12:39:00.001-08:00


  • Well, since no one reads these anyways, here is my RANT..... 2010-12-09T17:01:00.001-08:00
    I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. I am sick and tired of "give and you shall receive" BS and that "Im praying for you" crap and the "stay positive, have a good attitude" stuff! You want to know why I am sick and tired of it!? If you dont then freaking stop reading my shite! Otherwise, because IT DOES NOT WORK - EVER - IT WILL NOT WORK!!!! Dont try to patronize me on this either like you even really give a flying flip about why I have come to this conclusion...yes even prayer DOES NOT WORK and it has been PROVEN that prayer doesnt work!!! Sure it may make you feel good but thats all it may do and nothing more but a lot less!!! I/we have given and given and served and all that good stuff only to be homeless two freaking times in a 2 year period, second time only because of unfortunate events. Oh I tried to get the materials we needed to get our shanty of a home through winter but NOPE! Thats freaking it in a nutshell...for now! It really is a cruel world and Im done ranting...
  • Last Post for a While...Hopelessness & Suicide... 2010-12-07T15:14:00.001-08:00
    So I was reading a post on one of the suicide forums about hopelessness and suicide. Ive tried it and have contemplated it during very stressful times, who hasnt! Well I am feeling very hopeless but more of detatchment than anything and not so much suicide as I do love my family but whats the difference? On the one hand family wont have to worry about you and you wont have any more worry either, they would miss you but would go on about their lives. On the other hand everyone still worries about you and you feel hopeless and detatched making you sicker and sicker as well as a burden on life...ummm what to do is up to you but if I were going to take my life you better bet there will be others going down with me for the better!
  • Subzero Temps Last Night & Morning.... 2010-11-24T09:59:00.000-08:00
    Well, the pipes were doing just fine I guess until sometime early morning because we are frozen, again, lol =)

    We did some research about the weather predictions for us this winter and the hubby said there is no way we are going to make it through without weatherizing the 5th wheel. Luckily we will only have to wait and bear through any further subzero temps until the 20th of December...let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!!! That will keep the temps above 20 which will help a lot!

    He is working outside, started early this morning, when temp was -6! Now it has warmed up to -3 and will get really warm later at about 11...lol =) We found him some awesome gloves last night, finally, and so far they work great! He is also doing a side job for a friend, mechanic work, and last night did some work while it was -1 and he said his hands stayed warm the whole time!



    They are very similar to these but we got them at Big R (not in work gloves area, in winter gloves area) for $24.95 and well worth every penny so far! Next is long johns for all of us, warm socks, etc to make sure we stay warm! Like I told the hubby, the money will come when we really need it so for now we are just bundling up and our son is at his brother's house keeping warm until this freezing weather passes! At least he starts working Fri where it's warm =)I can hide out under the blankets in bed to keep warm with the dog, better than freezing!

    We met a guy last night that was kicked outta his house no coat nor warm hat, freezing his ass off, no gloves, nothing. I told him I'd have him sit in the rig (we were getting gas) but that it was freezing inside the rig too (no heat yet). So I gave him a suggestion I use to do when I was a kid on the street (by choice) on very cold nights - stay in the gas stations that are 24...just tell them your situation and ask if it's ok to hang out. The hubby said on our way out, he wished he had gloves he could have given him, a sweatshirt, a room to sleep that's warm (kinda hard to do in a 5th wheel, lol) or money to at least put him up in a hotel or something. It was too late for a spot at The Mission =( I prayed he would find warm shelter. Hopefully he will be let back in his home!

    So, I guess that's it for today, or this morning at least...
  • Berrrrr It Is VERY COLD Today in our 5th wheel..... 2010-11-23T11:27:00.000-08:00
    Well, as some of you know, we live in an older 5th wheel that is not prepared for winter camping....we have lived through 2 winters already, coming up on our 3rd, wondering if we are going to make it through the whole of this winter. Keep in mind that this winter is suppose to be very wet & cold and due to being in an accident (actually 2 within and hour of each other) we haven't been able to get ready for this winter.

    I am very grateful that my old boss moved us from the lake we were staying at to his business property before the winter hit!! Reason for that, we are now on full hook ups so we can run the water to keep the hose and pipes from freezing, so far so good. Now we just need to tape/seal up all the cracks and try to figure out how to fix the gape at the bottom/side of our door leading outside. No propane yet but we are suppose to get some today so we have been bundling up as best we can with the 2 heaters we have...Nate has it the worst because he is in such a huge area with leaks all over the place, not just the windows.

    Thankfully we will have somewhere to go that is warm for Thanksgiving on Thursday and we will soak in all that wonderful heat! The ride there and back will be even colder than our 5th wheel as our Jeep only gets warm on defrost for now and has many holes where the cold freezing air flows in as we are driving...I have got to invest in some better long-johns! Any suggestions on inexpensive ones that are actually warm would be great! Not having winter boots was a real bummer but a wonderful friend of mine this morning informed me she has an extra pair I can have and they will actually fit! Feeling very blessed for that!

    So, as much as we would love to have a home to call our own, we will have to wait it out another winter before that happens...unless some miracle happens and the person doesn't care about "how much money we earn" & "background check" & "pets" and is "420 friendly" as we are medical card holders and plan to grow for ourselves to cook with, yummy! I tried a piece of canna-zucchini-bread and not only did it taste very good it had a perfect calm body feeling, after about an hour or 2. I had a great night sleep and that is what I use it for along with my meds and it works wonders!

    Oh, I have gotta get some hot chocolate mix! Nothing like having hot stuff that's yummy to drink to keep us warm, maybe some apple cider too! Need to make some soups too to help, wish we had an oven too because then I could bake to help keep this place warm =)

    Enjoy what you do have; don't dwell on what you don't have, except for visualizing purposes, lol!!
  • Are you wasting your time with adsense ads? Get the power of adzly instead! 2010-11-23T10:11:00.000-08:00













  • PayBox 2010-11-22T11:21:00.000-08:00
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